Self - Control & Determination

Dear Diary,

It's time for me to regain control of my appetite...these few days i think i lose it...if i have been successful last few months...i believe i can do it...there is nothing impossible and nothing is goin to block my way between me n my dream figure...i really hope i can do it... i want to taste the feeling of fitting into any clothes no matter wat type of design that is....i wanna wear what i have always wanted....i want to look good for once in my life...this is the beginning of something new and significant....and to reach there..sacrifice is needed... wish me luck....

Fateful 27 May 2011

Dear Diary,

I am unhappy.....i feel like killing people..if u know what i mean....

The little unspoken feeling

Dear diary,

My heart felt a little weird today...there is this feeling that i do not know how to describe...its affecting me..a lil...i become the unusual me....so much that i think i need a lil drink of alcohol to get me to sleep...is this because i am not happy with what i am doing now...or a lil part of what i am doing...I have this feeling that i am not happy to be involved in a club...i just don't felt like doing it anymore...it makes me think... why do i have to torture myself...why do i have to live up to people's expectation? and not myself...do i live for my own or others? but it's not easy to get out of the maze that i have just happily put myself in the first place...i believe i am no longer me... the one i used to be....maybe this is good....every little path that i take would sculpt my future...

The most important thing is to live in the present as each past is history....something to be taken into account and to be remember and let it serve as a lesson to me....

Little Pony...

Dear Diary,

My heartfelt for the little pony I saw on the way home yesterday…the little pony was being carried or driven on a lorry that is not suitable for animal loading..poor little pony standing by itself on top of the lorry…my heart is aching for him…it feels like he is not enjoying the ride to his destination…as the he was kind of swaying from side to side….

Perhaps the biggest lesson that I have I have to start learning in my life is…

1) To control my temper and dun display it on my facial expression

2) To curb my tongue and mouth and to think twice before blurting it out

3) To think with my head rather than my heart

4) To learn patience that is needed for me to be successful

5) To believe that there are kind souls who are around me…

Keep on Believing dear lil cub…you are on ur way to the peak of the mountain….it’s just a matter of time when you’ll reach there…but do remember don’t take too long to achieve your goals...

Grow Up....

Dear Diary,

Can you pls define grow up? I really need to know....i think i am not yet a grown up....sometimes i think i am so naive till i believe that the whole world is full of good people like 90% out of 100% is kind souls.....
I think i am just a lil girl trying to grow up and live in this society....why is it so difficult ? I wonder when i will ever grow up....