Dear my beloved diary,
It's been a long time since i complain things to u....hope that u are not bored....recently my assignment just finished...i guess it should be a relief to me...however...it's not the case....that is not the end...but a beginning of more work coming my way...I guess i am not complaining but suddenly i am needed everywhere....
There are one million things that i need to do...everybody wants this n that....i wonder how long these 2 years can be...how i hope when i close my eyes and open it...it will fast forward to 2 years....
I am beginning to feel like i am a robot no longer a human....
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Self - Control & Determination
Dear Diary,
It's time for me to regain control of my appetite...these few days i think i lose it...if i have been successful last few months...i believe i can do it...there is nothing impossible and nothing is goin to block my way between me n my dream figure...i really hope i can do it... i want to taste the feeling of fitting into any clothes no matter wat type of design that is....i wanna wear what i have always wanted....i want to look good for once in my life...this is the beginning of something new and significant....and to reach there..sacrifice is needed... wish me luck....
It's time for me to regain control of my appetite...these few days i think i lose it...if i have been successful last few months...i believe i can do it...there is nothing impossible and nothing is goin to block my way between me n my dream figure...i really hope i can do it... i want to taste the feeling of fitting into any clothes no matter wat type of design that is....i wanna wear what i have always wanted....i want to look good for once in my life...this is the beginning of something new and significant....and to reach there..sacrifice is needed... wish me luck....
Friday, May 27, 2011
Fateful 27 May 2011
Dear Diary,
I am unhappy.....i feel like killing people..if u know what i mean....
I am unhappy.....i feel like killing people..if u know what i mean....
Sunday, May 22, 2011
The little unspoken feeling
Dear diary,
My heart felt a little weird today...there is this feeling that i do not know how to describe...its affecting me..a lil...i become the unusual me....so much that i think i need a lil drink of alcohol to get me to sleep...is this because i am not happy with what i am doing now...or a lil part of what i am doing...I have this feeling that i am not happy to be involved in a club...i just don't felt like doing it anymore...it makes me think... why do i have to torture myself...why do i have to live up to people's expectation? and not myself...do i live for my own or others? but it's not easy to get out of the maze that i have just happily put myself in the first place...i believe i am no longer me... the one i used to be....maybe this is good....every little path that i take would sculpt my future...
The most important thing is to live in the present as each past is history....something to be taken into account and to be remember and let it serve as a lesson to me....
My heart felt a little weird today...there is this feeling that i do not know how to describe...its affecting me..a lil...i become the unusual me....so much that i think i need a lil drink of alcohol to get me to sleep...is this because i am not happy with what i am doing now...or a lil part of what i am doing...I have this feeling that i am not happy to be involved in a club...i just don't felt like doing it anymore...it makes me think... why do i have to torture myself...why do i have to live up to people's expectation? and not myself...do i live for my own or others? but it's not easy to get out of the maze that i have just happily put myself in the first place...i believe i am no longer me... the one i used to be....maybe this is good....every little path that i take would sculpt my future...
The most important thing is to live in the present as each past is history....something to be taken into account and to be remember and let it serve as a lesson to me....
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Little Pony...
Dear Diary,
My heartfelt for the little pony I saw on the way home yesterday…the little pony was being carried or driven on a lorry that is not suitable for animal loading..poor little pony standing by itself on top of the lorry…my heart is aching for him…it feels like he is not enjoying the ride to his destination…as the he was kind of swaying from side to side….
Perhaps the biggest lesson that I have I have to start learning in my life is…
1) To control my temper and dun display it on my facial expression
2) To curb my tongue and mouth and to think twice before blurting it out
3) To think with my head rather than my heart
4) To learn patience that is needed for me to be successful
5) To believe that there are kind souls who are around me…
Keep on Believing dear lil cub…you are on ur way to the peak of the mountain….it’s just a matter of time when you’ll reach there…but do remember don’t take too long to achieve your goals...
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Grow Up....
Dear Diary,
Can you pls define grow up? I really need to know....i think i am not yet a grown up....sometimes i think i am so naive till i believe that the whole world is full of good people like 90% out of 100% is kind souls.....
I think i am just a lil girl trying to grow up and live in this society....why is it so difficult ? I wonder when i will ever grow up....
Can you pls define grow up? I really need to know....i think i am not yet a grown up....sometimes i think i am so naive till i believe that the whole world is full of good people like 90% out of 100% is kind souls.....
I think i am just a lil girl trying to grow up and live in this society....why is it so difficult ? I wonder when i will ever grow up....
Sunday, April 17, 2011
A Beautiful Mess
Dear Diary,
Life is like a beautiful mess, there is a little mess here and there, but that's what that make our journey of life so interesting......i have dreamed that i was being chased by bees....the meaning of my dream "Bees" are a good indication, like the saying "As busy as bees" I would take this a positive sign that my hard work will bear its fruit at the end of my labor.... for the part of being stung, it indicates that i might have been wronged for what i have not done, and i intend to correct this and move on with my life.....
From the beautiful story about the ancient tigers that was written earlier, I have learn one or maybe two or it might be three important lessons, first never ever again think that everyone is the like the "little tiger", young and innocent....there a lot animals in this whole wide world that the little tiger might not have chance to meet upon....thus being naive that the world is just as it is....
Secondly, the little tiger should have perseverance and endure whatever obstacle during her journey of finding a balance between her and the world and animals.....
Third, always believe things happen for a reason and patience lead to success, be grateful for the good and bad..after all what is an adventure without some rocks and storms along the way....
Keep on believing little tiger....you will be where you want to be one day.....
Life is like a beautiful mess, there is a little mess here and there, but that's what that make our journey of life so interesting......i have dreamed that i was being chased by bees....the meaning of my dream "Bees" are a good indication, like the saying "As busy as bees" I would take this a positive sign that my hard work will bear its fruit at the end of my labor.... for the part of being stung, it indicates that i might have been wronged for what i have not done, and i intend to correct this and move on with my life.....
From the beautiful story about the ancient tigers that was written earlier, I have learn one or maybe two or it might be three important lessons, first never ever again think that everyone is the like the "little tiger", young and innocent....there a lot animals in this whole wide world that the little tiger might not have chance to meet upon....thus being naive that the world is just as it is....
Secondly, the little tiger should have perseverance and endure whatever obstacle during her journey of finding a balance between her and the world and animals.....
Third, always believe things happen for a reason and patience lead to success, be grateful for the good and bad..after all what is an adventure without some rocks and storms along the way....
Keep on believing little tiger....you will be where you want to be one day.....
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Livin in the world of my own
Dear Diary,
There is a saying " A mountain cannot have 2 tigers" I wonder if this is true in reality or if it is just a Chinese wisdom by the generation back then....well right now, there are 2 wild tigers on mountain, i wonder what will happen,... will there be war for territory or peaceful agreement on the property ?
This little tiger has just reached this new mountain after a few months of traveling, it met this another tiger who lived at the ancient mountain for the longest time she has ever known, this tiger welcomes the little cub for shelter for as long as the cub needs it, however after awhile things got a little heated up as the wise tiger and the cub are having a different thoughts on how to make the ancient mountain better.......
Who would have thought fate bought this two tigers together? I wonder in the old times how would these tigers sort out the problem?
There is a saying " A mountain cannot have 2 tigers" I wonder if this is true in reality or if it is just a Chinese wisdom by the generation back then....well right now, there are 2 wild tigers on mountain, i wonder what will happen,... will there be war for territory or peaceful agreement on the property ?
This little tiger has just reached this new mountain after a few months of traveling, it met this another tiger who lived at the ancient mountain for the longest time she has ever known, this tiger welcomes the little cub for shelter for as long as the cub needs it, however after awhile things got a little heated up as the wise tiger and the cub are having a different thoughts on how to make the ancient mountain better.......
Who would have thought fate bought this two tigers together? I wonder in the old times how would these tigers sort out the problem?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Thoughts
Dear Diary,
Suddenly I find myself lost... I need some guidance...things seems to work against me...but i pray and hope that the sun will shine soon for me....
Suddenly I find myself lost... I need some guidance...things seems to work against me...but i pray and hope that the sun will shine soon for me....
Monday, March 21, 2011
20 March 2011
Dear Diary,
Rain is pouring outside….i can see the rain drops goes down by the window…tonight seem a little gloomy and weather is dark….somewhere inside my heart I have this struggling feeling, a little complicated, a little mix up… suddenly I dunno how to feel…I was wondering if life is really that complicated or because it is the pressure from your surrounding…the expected norm when you have reached a certain age…the things they expect you to perform….how I wish that I am still young…I dun wan to grow up this fast if this is how it is going to be…….i wan to be me, cheerful, wild and free....
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